Saturday, July 25, 2009

A Toast

Mes amis, I commend to you Sydney Carton.

If Mr. Dickens would have been so kind as to develop his character a little more, I would understand him better and perhaps love him the more for it. Though maybe not. Maybe I don't want to understand the reasoning behind his determination to remain less noble than he can be and maybe I don't want to see the source of his unselfish heart that leads him to trade his life for another's. He troubles me as much as he delights me. My heart breaks for this fictional advocate but I am not entirely sure I could tell you why.

Perhaps it's knowing what he's going to, long before he ever reaches the steps of the guillotine. I saw the Wishbone version when I was little and all I remember is 'It's a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done before;' I have this vague idea of a parlor scene in which one man agrees to die for another, but even now, I'm really not sure that that's right, because the kind Wikipedia tells me that Wishbone was Darnay and I'm not sure that they had a mimic Wishbone hop up and take that slow trot to death. Come to think of it, it's a bit too violent for a kid's show, n'est-ce pas? In any event, it ruined it a bit for me, because from the second Carton is introduced in the court room, I know he's a dead man and part of me kinda wonders whether he knows it too.

Perhaps it's learning that he goes to his death for the love of a woman, not because he's such good friends with Charles Evremonde, called Darnay that causes such a break in my heart for the man. He confused me immensely, from the moment that he drunkenly admitted to Darnay that he didn't really like him (and why should he, when Darnay is simply a cleaner, more socially acceptable version of the poor man?) to the moment that he took the hand of the condemned french girl on their last ride. Why does he not struggle for redemption and look to improve his lot when he meets Lucie, so that she'll fall for him, the previously troubled but determined and devoted Englishman rather than the cleaner cut, but otherwise lamer Frenchman? Why does he allow himself the heartache of visiting Lucie and her happy family, even if only a few times a year? What brought him to Paris in the first place? How long had he contemplated exchanging his life for Darnay's? Why on earth would he do such a thing, when the man who had taken the love of his life from him stood condemned, opening up a road for him, Carton, into her life? He never professes to be noble; quite the contrary. Did it never occur to him that Lucie would survive her husband, if only to watch over her father, and after the grief of losing Charles, she might find in him an adequate substitute? Why, then, does he throw his life into the hands of a group of (fictional) revolutionaries who only want to see death and left justice behind long ago?

And yet, I do love him. I think I love him for the part of me that he is- he remains convinced that he is not capable of better things because he has proved himself and he knows better. What could have proved his lack of worth to this wasted man? How is he aware, beyond the smallest shadow of doubt, that he cannot improve his state in life? But still, he is sure and continues in the shadows, happy only in his lack of harm to those he loves. I know that I love him for the figure that he is- let's face it, I'm a sucker for tragic heroes. I love him because he is not Darnay, who left France to her troubles, who never attempted to right his family wrongs, who won Lucie so easily and who is saved by a much worthier man. I love him because Dickens lets him have the place in the hearts of Charles and Lucie, the two good and kind and flat and useless characters, that Eponine deserved in the hearts of Marius and Cosette. I love him because he acts in a time of no hope, deus ex machina, and triumphs.

My friends, to Sydney Carton. Because he brings salvation where hope for salvation is not looked for, because he willingly denied himself what he most desired because it was another's, because he stubbornly limits God in the same ways we all do, until need and love bring him forward to act as he was called to his whole life, and because he is doomed to shine only at the end of his life, while we realize that the best part of our lives, through that inexplicable grace of God, still may be and may be daily, from that realization on.

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