Dear CTOPs parents:
1) If there's a couch in front of a door, chances are it doesn't actually open. Stop trying the handle behind my couch in Graham Memorial.
2) Authentic Chapel Hill cuisine? Top-O and Peppers. Authentic college kid food? B-Skis. Where you actually want to eat lunch? How should I know? I stopped trying to understand people's tastes a long time ago.
3) Stop judging me because I'm taking a class during the summer. I didn't fail, I'm just making time for my excessive extracurricular activities, which are much less important in college than they are in high school because grad schools want to know that you're smart. Aaaaahhhhh I don't want to decide my life!!!!!
4) I woke up at 6:45 this morning to catch a bus to come work so I can pay my rent. Don't judge me as I nap on the most comfortable couch that higher learning has to offer.
5) You should file a complaint because no one told you where the admissions office is. You should grow a brain cell or two because you can't use a campus map and have an amazing knack for finding yourself a good twenty minute walk from where you want to be.
6) I dearly hope your child is smarter than you are.
As a side point, I hope you know that college is a world unto itself, with its own humor and own existence, really (see http://survivingtheworld.net/ for proof). Your child will thank you for the money you're spending not only to introduce them to this new world, but also to hopefully better prepare them for the job that doesn't await them after graduation.
7) I had hoped I'd be back longer than two days before you swarmed my campus and took away my happiness.
Carolina Testing and Orientation Programs. So much more scarring when you're working them than when you're attending them.
No comments:
Post a Comment