Lack of Intention

"If we have never had the experience of taking our commonplace religious shoes off our commonplace religious feet, and getting rid of all the undue familiarity with which we approach God, it is questionable whether we have ever stood in His presence."
-Oswald Chambers, My Utmost for His Highest

See, I agreed to house-sit because I was getting paid to watch two dogs and a cat and do nothing else for a night. Apparently God remembered that I like porch swings and thunderstorms, because I got both. And apparently God was sick of me ignoring Him and forgetting others because He took the advice of a friend and made me pull the book off the shelf and took the words of a man writing nearly a century ago and spoke.

I learned how to wait on a porch swing last summer reading a book. I learned how to listen this summer on a porch swing reading a book. How ridiculously complex the Almighty is! He is willing to come and watch a poor little girl watch His rain and yet He is 'surrounded by clouds and darkness' and too big to be simply with me. I say too big but three letters is an epic word choice fail. The Universe is in His hand and that doesn't cut it either. Much too small.

'Undue familiarity.' I don't understand and I hate to be wrong. You know that moment when you realize that your parents were people too? That they cared and lived and made mistakes and are as much a part of the world as you are, not just some familiar piece of furniture in your house? Hum. Maybe this is growing up spiritually, the day you realize that God is much bigger than the best friend, happy Jesus that Sunday School brings to mind. They should put a disclaimer on that mess. And I'm so sick of milk.

But then, we're supposed to be childlike, in faith, in dependence. Is not the Christian a walking contradiction? It's like the gate to a garden: it might be simple enough to open the gate, but to someone who's never seen a flower, what's inside is quite confusing. Even if your parents put a vase full on the table every morning, a flower growing is quite different from a flower put on display. So much to learn.

I hope there's a swing in my garden.