Friends

I have wonderful friends, whether they're just the momentary friends who trade silly bands with campers and chase butterflies off our volleyball court (for reference, we looked kinda like this) or whether they're wonderful friends that help me move, get me a shower curtain, help me find a bike, help me move a bike or in general let me perpetually trespass on their kindness, they are all beautiful people. That being said, they're also pretty funny (as evidenced by this) and I wait on my bus back to my awesome new apartment, I'm going to transcribe a couple of my favorite voicemails for you to enjoy. The names have been omitted to protect the innocent.

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Voicemail 1:

Addie Jooooooo! Happy Birthday! I love and miss you from Chile and um I don't know and sorry I don't have a lot of minutes so I can't talk long but I love you and I hope that everything is wonderful and your birthday is fantastic and good-bye!

Voicemail 2:

Addie Jooooooo! I guess you're in class or something but I got Skype which is exciting 'cause it's like 2 cents a minute for me to call you and um I miss you and also you need to know that I have found out that my father's going to be a drag queen named Trixie Treat for Halloween and that my mother's going to be his pimp in my grandmother's fur coat. Um. That is all.and there's nothing I can really say to finish that, to follow that up. Like, my mind is blown, I'm so excited. They went to Goodwill and apparently my dad bought silver shoes over the internet and while they're looking for dresses he's like, "No, we can't get that, it won't go well with my shoes." Um. But that's it. That's the end of my story. I love you and I miss you and I hope you're doing wonderfully! Bye!

Voicemail 3:

(Sounds of a copier) Oh, hey, sorry. Um. So apparently my computer's a pansy-ass and thinks that because its printer cartridges are incompatible that nothing else is compatible with it and -no, stop printing, you piece of crap!- and now it's going fast again and I don't really know what to do so I'm trying to scan it but if you can get the notes -Hey! Paper jam? No! Not cool!- if you could get the notes from Jana, I'd appreci- No, I am not pressing cancel for my help!- Anyway, I'll talk to you later and I'm really sorry that -ugh!- my printer sucks! -No! No! No!- OK, bye!

Voicemail 4:

I have a story for you. So you should call me.

Voicemail 5:

Hi Addie Jo, I called you and you didn't pick up so now I'm leaving you a message (sound of us laughing) OK, bye!
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OK, maybe these aren't as epic to you as they are to me, but I love them, as evidence by the fact that I saved one from my birthday last year, another from pre-Halloween last year and another from November last year. But if they don't amuse you, try to tune in for the sequel, which is the Epic of the Lost Key. It's going to be legendary.