Planning: Day 6

Today’s Song: A Change Is Gonna Come by Sam Cooke

You ever sit down in a conversation and wonder how you got to where you are? Like, you’re with your friends and suddenly somehow you’re discussing the official designation for the chicken walkers the Empire has on Endor in Return of the Jedi, but you’re pretty sure you started this conversation talking about the benefits of liquid eyeliner? And you’re not displeased with how the conversation has travelled, just pleasantly amused at the turn things took? I got that sensation when I sat down to take the LSAT at the beginning of June.

The LSAT was one of two impulse purchases this spring, the other being a ukelele covered in constellations. I think that sentence encapsulates my entire existence, actually. The impetus behind registering for the LSAT was probably a combination of The West Wing, NPR, and that one conversation I had with a law student at a hostel in Marseilles a couple of years ago, so, in short, a bunch of not super great reasons to be a lawyer.

At the same time, we like the things we like for a reason. That’s one of my theories about life that I feel like I never give enough credence to. There’s a reason why I stuck with all seven seasons of West Wing, and why I never turn the channel when Mr. Smith Goes to Washington or Twelve Angry Men is on, and why NPR is one of like two presets on my car radio. I am interested in the stories of people who go to our government and demand that we live up to the ideals set before us. I am interested in the governing of our country. I am interested in the questions of our time and how our values as a people (should) play out in legislation and action. And maybe I’m interested in that for a reason.

I also like to fix things. I like to help people. I like to solve problems. One of the most frustrating situations I can imagine is seeing a problem, seeing a way to fix the problem, and not having the authority or the ability to implement the solution. Now, I don’t have the expertise to fix everything in Washington, or Raleigh, or on any town council. I don’t know the laws we have on the books, nor do I yet have the eye to look at any given situation and suss out what’s actually going on there. But I want to. I want to. 

Because I see problems. I see so many problems that are systematic in their nature and I am willing to go to bat for any number of them. Like the Civil Rights Act was an idea whose time had come, I feel like changes for the better are floating out in the air, waiting for their own time and I want to be ready and willing to help. I want to fight poverty and injustice and oppression in any and all forms they present themselves. I just don’t know how, other than volunteering at a food bank and signing a petition. I don’t know the best way to fix these problems. 

So I sat down to study and take the LSAT because maybe law school is the beginning of that journey and because being a public servant is at its core something I’d like to do. I almost laughed as they handed out the test books because filing quietly into a room and taking a standardized test is something I’m awesome at and taking this test was a challenge, it was a stretch, and I loved it. I love thinking that way and analyzing the problems set before you. I love the potential to effect a great change and the absurdity of the fact that this test could be the beginning of the avalanche. 

Now I know that you don’t need law school to do that. I know that getting into the system in this case can be a barrier for change. But when I signed up for the LSAT, I needed to be doing something and do something I did. A small, self-serving something, but a something nonetheless. And since I have this test score now and since there’s a part of me, no matter how small, that would like to go to Washington one day as more than a tourist, I’ll take this week to investigate what I’d do with a law degree and maybe even take a second to think about how reasonable this whole thing is. Any and all advice will be considered, so feel free to hop to the comments. 

Let’s see what we can do.