Post-Its

It's my last night in my dorm room. Normally this is an occasion of quasi-happiness, because I'm always ready to go home and sleep in my own not-lofted bed. But tonight, I'm going to be alone and a little sad, since my super awesome roommate has moved out and my super awesome hall mate has gone home. So, while other people are doing school years in review, I figured I'd share with you the documentation of our year- the post-it notes stuck on Clementine, our mirror.

By the way, Facebook calls blogs "drunken scribblin's" in pirate. Accurate, Facebook, Accurate.*

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Laughter is the sunshine that warms the face. -Victor Hugo

Don't Do Drugs.
Stay in School.
No sex on the Enterprise.

Marry me Juliet, I can make your bed rock.

Are you suggesting that tiny men rape cats?

I hate sewing. I'd rather be a whore.

He must practice on melons or something.
Your mom's melons.

He's massively athletic. I'm kinda pathetic.

(About a piece of lettuce)
It will come back to you in the middle of the night and stand on your face saying LOVE ME, LOVE ME.

Our window is conveniently placed not only for Palestinian entry, but also for normal conversations. **

-Slow down!
-You just want to live!
-I want to live to be your lesbian lover!

I mean, I know I can't talk in straight lines.

I'm like the kiss of death. I draw people out of the closets they didn't even know they were in.

Drink your wine like a good girl.

You're supposed to entertain me. Dance Monkey, dance!

(About going to Istanbul)
-Now we just need money and a place to stay and a job around the time that we go.
-We got this.
-Maybe.
-Prostitution handily takes care of all those problems.

That Beatles poster is really trippy upside down. It's just like… whoa.

Prophecy mutates. Ninja turtles.

-I'm thinking of getting a futon.
-You should, that way you can name it something awesome and not have sex on it.

Just as a point of clarification- is sex on Clifford alright?

I ate your cake. I'm a horrible person.
I'll make you a new one.

Don't sledgehammer the wall and eat it. -Notes from the hall meeting

How much hot stuff has been on our carpet? Besides me?

The suicidal clock isn't up yet. It's OK to come it.

You're opening an umbrella on Friday the 13th. Do you want to break Clementine? Would that make you happy?

I had a brain wave but it ran away screaming and crying.

Fudge-monkeys in a biscuit.

(Points to shoes) See, I don't think a man could make me this happy.

Me and my mermaid throw chocolate at each other.

It's the only way to keep that last bit of sanity.
Maybe I don't have to be good but I can try to be
At least a little better than I've been so far
-The Avett Brothers

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*People of legal drinking age do occasionally occupy our room and most of the alcohol related ones are jokes anyway.
**Which don't happen in our room.