Sometimes I think the writers for movies are really just nerdy girls giving the rest of us hope.
Like in Dirty Dancing. Baby gets into the staff after-hours dance following this guy who's carrying watermelons. Then Patrick Swayze comes over and asks what she's doing there and the guy who let her in says that she's with him and she says, "I carried a watermelon."
"I carried a watermelon"? Really?
This is precisely the thing I would say in a situation like that, having just carried a watermelon into an entirely foreign circumstances only to be confronted by my current love interest. It's truthful and a conversation piece... I'm sure there's some question that you can ask about carrying a watermelon to make a conversation go. It' also rather awkward (as is carrying a watermelon, I might add- they're huge and there's no good way to get your arms around them and they slosh- ugh) and nobody really knows what to say to it, especially the love interest. So they walk away and you're left to yourself repeating what you just said.
Like telling someone their faces matches the polka dotted flip flops. What am I saying? At least I can laugh about that one.
I remember every time I misspeak. Does anyone else do that? I will go over a conversation or a sentence over and over again in my brain, feeling the same shame and embarrassment that I felt the first time I said it. This is a problem because there are many, many times when I say the wrong thing. Really, if I get on a run, I can spend a good three to four hours just reliving the moments when I made an idiot of myself. We were talking about that this past year, how it's not healthy to be doing that all the time. And it's not. It's kinda compulsive. I'm working on it.
I talk a lot. I like to hear myself talk (which is partially false because I hate my voice and I really wonder why anyone lets me talk around them because I would tell me to shut up to stop my ears from bleeding). I talk too fast and I speed up around my friends, especially friends I haven't seen in a while. I mix up words and I say things wrong and I'll forget words (like paper; who forgets the word for paper?) and I say things I'm not supposed to and I surprise people.
Guilty secret time- I didn't used to be like this. I mean, maybe my parents will contradict me, but I remember elementary school and I remember not talking a lot. I was a beast at the quiet game. And I think about how shut up I was and how much reading I used to do and how antisocial I was (yeah, you think I'm antisocial now? This is a massive improvement) and I think that I could go back to that. Here's the confession part- that is one of three things that's guaranteed to make me cry. The other one is clearly when Littlefoot's mother dies in Land Before Time- you're a robot if you don't tear up at that.
At the same time, you never say something dumb if you don't talk. That's generally my approach to boys- I'll be there and if they want to talk to me, they can come talk to me and I'll cross my fingers and hope to die that I don't say something idiotic. And the responses are usually sarcasm laden and then I stand in a corner wondering why no one likes me. I'm like Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing, except the prince asks if she would have him and she says no and ends up with Benedick. What the crap? Go for the prince, girl. Especially in that version when Denzel Washington is the prince and Keanu Reeves is the illegitimate son- that's a great one. "Love may transform me to an oyster."
I dunno, I just get sick of watching love stories, like I'm sure athletes would get sick of watching hours of tape if they didn't get to go play the game some time in the near future. But love stories give us unrealistic ideas of what relationships are (thank you, [500] Days of Summer) and fairy tales give us these unrealistic hopes and you think it happens for everyone and love conquers all (fifty percent of the time). I mean, should you go looking for it? Should you wait for it to find you? Because I'm convinced my Prince Charming fell off a cliff- if he's still coming, he's slightly deformed at best.
So I guess this was pretty pointless. I just wanted to let the world know that I'm in the same predicament I've been in for the longest time and to share a theory about movies (I'm telling you, they're giving us unrealistic hopes!). And to let you know that I miss you too. But I know you're never missing me.
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