A Constellation (An Apparent Grouping of Stars)

I've been thinking that the night's over, but I'm not entirely sure that that's right... though I've never know anyone that was suspicious of the dawn. Maybe the night and day analogies are crap, too.

If I ever wanted a confirmation of where I'm supposed to be, I think God's handed them out pretty liberally this week. I wasn't sure that I was supposed to go on tour but after hearing back from some people, I feel a lot better about it. I love the way the week summed up my life. I really just needed to hear the promise again that God's going to work it all out, that everything really is going to be all right and that a season of joy is coming again and He took one concert to shout it back to me and I heard. And it was lovely.

If you've even spent five minutes with me talking about my summer plans, I've probably mentioned that I'm excited to be in Chapel Hill for the summer. If you've talked to me for ten minutes, I've probably mentioned that I'm not sure that being in Chapel Hill is the right thing for me. I get suspicious of easily opening doors. But, with the help of glow-in-the-dark stars, a camper who looked at my necklace and said, "You're a crissian.... a christ-an.... a... a Christian!" and good conversation in one of my favorite places to have a conversation, I'm starting to believe that I'm not so wrong after all.

I don't know how many of you hopeless romantics out there ever have this problem, but I'm not over someone when I think I am. It took all of ten seconds and one of the other counselors acting just a bit like someone I'm sure I loved to make me realize that I haven't left him behind as much as I'd like to have. It's kinda like that with the Lord, too. I think if I ever really left Him, it would only take a moment of kindness from someone to make me see that I never left Him in the first place. Or, at least, He never left me. And this makes me smile.

I just don't want to forget, you know? People don't stop being hungry because I'm happy. Even though I'm much more able to pray, there's still pain in the world. I don't want to fade into contentment and forget all the work He has done while I've been struggling. I don't want to be happy with my lot and forget that I can do so much more to help others, forget that I am called to help others, regardless of the other plans in store for me. I want to use this time before I find my way off the path again to find out more about this Man who saved me instead of wasting it because I don't need the growing right now. I know this is basic. I know it's something we've all heard before. But maybe pastors keep on saying it and God keeps on insisting on it because we don't get it. Maybe just because I don't get it.

Because He does things like that.