What Would I Give

What would I give to be pure in heart
To be pure in flesh and bone
What would I give to be pure in heart
I’d give everything that I own
I’d rid my whole house of its demons of lust
And open the windows of trust
And out of those windows all fear will have flown
I’d give everything that I own

What would I give for the words of God
To come tumbling from the throne
What would I give for the words of God
I’d give everything that I own
I’d open my head and they’d roll right in
When I opened my mouth they’d roll out again
And uproot the weeds of the deeds I have sown
I’d give everything that I own

Now what would I give for my children’s strength
On the day that they stand alone
I mean what would I give for their strength to stand firm
I’d give everything that I own
I’ve wasted my life in accomplishing things
Ignoring the giver of wings
So Lord teach them to fly to the foot of your throne
I’ll give everything that I own

All I’ve accomplished, the titles I hold
My passions, position, possessions and gold
To God they must look like a thimble of foam
And it’s everything that I own
Dirty rags are all that I own

So I stand before God with my stubble and hay
He just laughs, but says there’s still a way
Because “Father, Forgive” are the words Jesus moaned
When He gave everything that He owned

So what would I give to be pure in heart
For the known to be made unknown?

-Jason Gray

And the funny thing is, out of all of the things that could occupy my head and probably should be occupying my head, all the self-righteous anger I adopt in protest at others' pain, this is what He shoves in, this song that I grudgingly put onto my MP-3 player that I reluctantly put on shuffle as I sat down to grade papers. This prayer has just been sitting here, waiting on me to come to it. It's advent is over. And though mine shouldn't be just starting, it is. Excitedly waiting, not just bewailing the hours until I can trudge away again. Oh, the things I could have been! Oh, the things that could be still. What would I give, to really mean the things I say and the things I pray, to be the person that I hoped I could be instead of the person I've settled on being? As a good friend of mine told me, never settle.

I want to fly. And I'm leaving the things that are weighing me down. One. By. One.