Could Be Another Change

So I took this one class in college, my first religious studies class (which also counted as my philosophy credit, which meant that I could drop Philosophy of Physics, which was the last honors course I attempted to take and was the beginning of my downward spiral into average academic achievement, thank goodness), called Heaven and Hell. Now, to be fair, there was both heaven and there was both hell, but we really only spent one week on hell and I’m not even sure that we mentioned Paradise Lost, which I thought would have been required for the understanding of hell. But I digress.

In this class, we had to write three papers about the soul/the afterlife in popular culture. I picked 2 C.S. Lewis books and a movie with Robin Williams and Cuba Gooding Jr. in it because that’s the kind of person that I was. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. And I was really proud of my papers. They were fine papers. But I think this is the beginning of my condescension of my condescending college self, because I know now that there are so many other possibilities out there that would have leant themselves to those papers, things that were outside of my worldview back then. Things like vampires.

Now, feel free to judge away again, because I’m going to dive into Buffy-land. First off, where was this show when I was a teenager and why did it never come across my path until now? Maybe I just had to wait until I was ready for it. Second off, Joss Whedon has no problem killing characters and bringing them back again (something I should be familiar with as a Stargate: SG-1 fan, since killing Daniel Jackson is a recurring theme in that show) so that just screams for investigation into how life and afterlife work in the Buffy universe. And what do you do with the undead who walk around? Are vampires alive? Where do they go when they’re slayed? When people are sent places and brought back, what were those places? How do those places correlate to western theology and how are they different? Why am I interested in this now when I could have had two or three killer papers, which is what life is really all about?

Also, how did I miss the opportunity to write about zombies? ZOMBIES. Maybe I just wasn’t as into the internet then as I am now. But there are endless possibilities here and I don’t think I had the courage to dream big enough yet at that point in my life. I mean, it’s easy to stand higher up on the hill and say that I had no idea what was going on when I was down there, but there are going to be (hopefully) more years of climbing and looking back down and wondering. I can’t let myself get sucked in too much here either. The internet is a fun place, and watching shows on Netflix is wonderful, but there are loves to be regained. There are books and there is writing and there are minor dreams to be dreamed again.

But it’s good to look back sometimes too, you know? It’s good to look back and know that it wasn’t perfect but it was good enough. Room to grow. Room to grow is good.