I've kinda been skipping reading the awesome devos that my friends at the UNC Wesley foundation have been sending out, but I was going through my email and this one made me feel better, so I hope it does the same for you.
PS BWL= Big Wesley Love
Matthew 26:59
“Now the chief priests and the whole council were looking for false testimony against Jesus so that they might put him to death.”
Not to point out the obvious here, but it’s kind of unfair that the good guy gets put to death just because the powers-that-be had a certain mindset that would not allow them to see what was right in front of their faces...namely, that Jesus was the Son of God. It’s kind of a symptom of the human condition thus far, isn’t it, though? The self-righteousness, the immobile worldview, the rush to condemnation...it’s all been a rather consistent short-coming of our kind throughout history. As much as it affects our relationships with the world at large, though, I’d like to talk about how we bring those same symptoms to bear when we pass judgment on ourselves. Lent is far too often a time of beating ourselves up—we focus on what we’re not doing well enough, try to “fix” it, and then pound our heads against the wall in frustration when we inevitably slip back into old habits. I’d like to take this moment to remind you that you are God’s creation, and you are loved. You are loved in totality, not just that which you consider good. This is not to say that we shouldn’t try to be the best possible versions of ourselves. On the contrary, I’ve found that there’s no greater motivating factor than the fact of such a great love. The point is, though, that we should be who we are created to be. We all have our limitations and our flaws. Figure out how to function and thrive in life through the wholeness of your personality, not just how to survive in spite of your weaknesses. Learn how you work in community, how even what you perceive as a weakness can help strengthen and guide others.
Prayer: Loving God, we are grateful for the gift of Your creation. We ask that you’ll help us to appreciate all of it, including ourselves, and to see it with fresh eyes everyday. Help us, during this Lenten season, to discover our true selves, and to become, in whole, that which You have created us to be. Amen.
BWLisReallyAnAwesomeThing,Isn'tIt?,
Jake
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Anger
I am so sick.
I hate this world. I hate it. When, when did we decide that it was acceptable, fine, commendable to ignore the needy in the world and focus always on ourselves? When did we decide that we could 'help' people by bombing their country, tearing their world apart and forcing ideas and systems of governance foreign to them on their lives? When did we decide that we could put down other people to the point that they actually think they're as worthless as we make them seem? When did we make the choice to stop seeing humanity and start seeing us and them?
When did we decide that it's fine to have people living on the streets, out in the cold, without a house, when we have so much extra room in our houses, extra guest rooms, huge living rooms, game rooms, multiple dining rooms? When did we decide that we could waste our money on food we don't even want, that we're going to throw away, that we're going to turn our noses up at, when there are people dying, dying, as in never get to eat another meal because they're dead, dying of hunger? When did we decided that we could ignore the rest of the world as long as we are fine?
What are our institutions, our places of learning, our high towers and money systems, banks and corporate offices schools? What are our sporting events? How much money there is laying around, how many resources used for these things, when we could save the world, fix so many problems with what is spent in idle pleasure?
I'm sick of it. I'm sick of spending hours studying things that don't matter, that I won't use, that won't make a difference in the world, or that only make a difference in my tiny sliver of the world. There is injustice and oppression. There is murder and genocide and starvation and disease and hate, hate, hate, hate and anger and waste. The waste of the entire human race, do you realize that? Do we realize what potential we have, what we could do, if we would just save us from ourselves? And I'm angry and I don't want to spend another day being less than this world needs me to be. If I'm going to wear a cross of ashes on my forehead, I want to be Christ to the world, not have to hang my head down and ignore the people who are freezing outside because I don't know their situation or how I can help them.
No, and I know there are noble things to follow in this society of ours. And I know there is good. But fuck it all, because that's what's keeping us complacent, keeping me complacent, that's what's stopping us from waking up and realizing that there are problems that need to be addressed. We're comfortable, we're fine, we don't need to do anything yet.
And I'm afraid to see what it's going to take to make us change.
I hate this world. I hate it. When, when did we decide that it was acceptable, fine, commendable to ignore the needy in the world and focus always on ourselves? When did we decide that we could 'help' people by bombing their country, tearing their world apart and forcing ideas and systems of governance foreign to them on their lives? When did we decide that we could put down other people to the point that they actually think they're as worthless as we make them seem? When did we make the choice to stop seeing humanity and start seeing us and them?
When did we decide that it's fine to have people living on the streets, out in the cold, without a house, when we have so much extra room in our houses, extra guest rooms, huge living rooms, game rooms, multiple dining rooms? When did we decide that we could waste our money on food we don't even want, that we're going to throw away, that we're going to turn our noses up at, when there are people dying, dying, as in never get to eat another meal because they're dead, dying of hunger? When did we decided that we could ignore the rest of the world as long as we are fine?
What are our institutions, our places of learning, our high towers and money systems, banks and corporate offices schools? What are our sporting events? How much money there is laying around, how many resources used for these things, when we could save the world, fix so many problems with what is spent in idle pleasure?
I'm sick of it. I'm sick of spending hours studying things that don't matter, that I won't use, that won't make a difference in the world, or that only make a difference in my tiny sliver of the world. There is injustice and oppression. There is murder and genocide and starvation and disease and hate, hate, hate, hate and anger and waste. The waste of the entire human race, do you realize that? Do we realize what potential we have, what we could do, if we would just save us from ourselves? And I'm angry and I don't want to spend another day being less than this world needs me to be. If I'm going to wear a cross of ashes on my forehead, I want to be Christ to the world, not have to hang my head down and ignore the people who are freezing outside because I don't know their situation or how I can help them.
No, and I know there are noble things to follow in this society of ours. And I know there is good. But fuck it all, because that's what's keeping us complacent, keeping me complacent, that's what's stopping us from waking up and realizing that there are problems that need to be addressed. We're comfortable, we're fine, we don't need to do anything yet.
And I'm afraid to see what it's going to take to make us change.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Guys
I had a Prince Charming once.
Of course, he only lived in my head, but I had him. I knew what height he would be and what he'd look like, what color hair and exactly what his eyes looked like. His face changed from time to time and I could never decide on a nose, but I knew what he'd do, what he'd think about life, what kind of job he'd have, what his favorite thing about me was. I picked my favorite name in the whole world to be his name. I could even imagine his voice in my head and sometimes I jump a little when I head a sound like it. He was my carefully constructed dream but I couldn't create him in words even if you paid me to.
So imagine my surprise when I met a guy who matched him. Same color hair, maybe a little too light in the summer, but I'm not picky. Same general build, though an inch or so maybe too short. I had always imagined him as a couple of years older than me, but I'm not opposed to someone the same age. I always felt like Prince Eric in the Little Mermaid, searching for the right voice, and though this new kid didn't match entirely, I loved his voice all the same. One day, the new kid said that he wanted to change his middle name to my favorite name in the world (a fact I think still unbeknown to him) and I took it as a weird sign. Beyond all of that, he had the right eyes. I am a sucker for a set of nice eyes.
Now, I know nobody's perfect (except for God, but I love Him anyway) but what do you do with a guy who fits the dream criteria, who jumps to your mind when someone starts talking about lomls (or loyals, we haven't decided yet), who meets expectations you didn't even know you had?
Forget him, apparently.
After three years or so, you realize that what you had thought was love is merely misplaced affection or that it wouldn't have worked out in the first place. You can't make someone your prince.
And who wants a prince anyway? Hamlet's clearly not a great choice. Pick a Disney prince and they've all pretty much done something pathetic and stupid. Prince Humperdink? I think we can all agree that Westley is in a whole different class. I mean, he's the Dread Pirate Roberts for goodness' sake. If I'm being honest, my Prince Charming wasn't technically a prince and so I shouldn't go about bashing all of them. You can't really blame their status as royalty for their uselessness. Marius, we can agree, isn't exactly the epitome of awesome manliness.
Don't mistake the general man-bashing for bitterness. And by don't mistake, I mean name it for what it is. If I say I'm not bitter, it's because I'm in denial and if I say I'm bitter, it's because I've hit rock bottom. I've been mourning the loss of someone I've never had for too long to be happy again, observing a grief that was never mine.
Well, screw that.
No, it is not my intent to go out and find me a man this very instant. I'm not going to go fall for the first guy that smiles at me across a room. I'm still watching Sweeney Todd tomorrow with a good friend (who could have better plans if dimwit would wake up and see what he's missing). I'm happy being single, and by that I mean that I'm fine being independent and by that I mean that I'm patient. But I think the war on boys may be coming to an end. I may not need a man to make me happy, but I certainly don't need them to make me sad.
Of course, he only lived in my head, but I had him. I knew what height he would be and what he'd look like, what color hair and exactly what his eyes looked like. His face changed from time to time and I could never decide on a nose, but I knew what he'd do, what he'd think about life, what kind of job he'd have, what his favorite thing about me was. I picked my favorite name in the whole world to be his name. I could even imagine his voice in my head and sometimes I jump a little when I head a sound like it. He was my carefully constructed dream but I couldn't create him in words even if you paid me to.
So imagine my surprise when I met a guy who matched him. Same color hair, maybe a little too light in the summer, but I'm not picky. Same general build, though an inch or so maybe too short. I had always imagined him as a couple of years older than me, but I'm not opposed to someone the same age. I always felt like Prince Eric in the Little Mermaid, searching for the right voice, and though this new kid didn't match entirely, I loved his voice all the same. One day, the new kid said that he wanted to change his middle name to my favorite name in the world (a fact I think still unbeknown to him) and I took it as a weird sign. Beyond all of that, he had the right eyes. I am a sucker for a set of nice eyes.
Now, I know nobody's perfect (except for God, but I love Him anyway) but what do you do with a guy who fits the dream criteria, who jumps to your mind when someone starts talking about lomls (or loyals, we haven't decided yet), who meets expectations you didn't even know you had?
Forget him, apparently.
After three years or so, you realize that what you had thought was love is merely misplaced affection or that it wouldn't have worked out in the first place. You can't make someone your prince.
And who wants a prince anyway? Hamlet's clearly not a great choice. Pick a Disney prince and they've all pretty much done something pathetic and stupid. Prince Humperdink? I think we can all agree that Westley is in a whole different class. I mean, he's the Dread Pirate Roberts for goodness' sake. If I'm being honest, my Prince Charming wasn't technically a prince and so I shouldn't go about bashing all of them. You can't really blame their status as royalty for their uselessness. Marius, we can agree, isn't exactly the epitome of awesome manliness.
Don't mistake the general man-bashing for bitterness. And by don't mistake, I mean name it for what it is. If I say I'm not bitter, it's because I'm in denial and if I say I'm bitter, it's because I've hit rock bottom. I've been mourning the loss of someone I've never had for too long to be happy again, observing a grief that was never mine.
Well, screw that.
No, it is not my intent to go out and find me a man this very instant. I'm not going to go fall for the first guy that smiles at me across a room. I'm still watching Sweeney Todd tomorrow with a good friend (who could have better plans if dimwit would wake up and see what he's missing). I'm happy being single, and by that I mean that I'm fine being independent and by that I mean that I'm patient. But I think the war on boys may be coming to an end. I may not need a man to make me happy, but I certainly don't need them to make me sad.
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